and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
