is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Even my vagina gasped.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
