dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
