Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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