I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
