walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize