I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
