he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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