At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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