$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
