Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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