Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize