Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
