dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
