i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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