if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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