You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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