Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
