WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
sex in a hospital.. check
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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