i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
