New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
