sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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