Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
