every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
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