i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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