how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
