Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
3 2 1 whiskey
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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