I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
