NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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