He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
