we have officially mastered the walk of shame
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
