this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
