Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
