I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
