Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
