you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
