Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
