She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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