I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
