look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How drunk are you?
Completed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Come on in and take your pants off
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