no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
