so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
