census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
