why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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