OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
