im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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