you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
