I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
