I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
