Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
