that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
