There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
