just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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