All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
