I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I skipped work to stalk him.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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