Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
