walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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