You smell like stripper and shame
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
