god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
