Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
