Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
