So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
