The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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