At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
